Day 12: Accept Yourself

For an introduction to this section, see Day 9. On Day 10, I discuss the concept of self-talk. On Day 11, we go over the critical technique of reframing experiences.

 

“If you looked in the mirror and did not like what you saw, you would have to be mad to attack the image in the mirror. That is precisely what you do when you are in a state of nonacceptance. And, of course, if you attack the image, it attacks you back. If you accept the image, no matter what it is, if you become friendly toward it, it cannot not become friendly toward you. This is how you change the world.”

-Eckhart Tolle

 

Today I want to talk about the idea of accepting yourself. This is going to be the most fluffy, philosophical post during this program.

There is no real exercise here, except to think about what you are reading and to do your best to internalize the information I am about to give you.

Today, you make a commitment to accept yourself, as you are, right now (Note: I wrote about this a little bit in point #6 in this post).

If you are reading this right now, it is most likely because you want to become a happier person. That seems to conflict with the idea of accepting yourself as you are, doesn’t it?

No. Accepting yourself does not mean that you cant continue to grow as a person in any area of your life.

Your life is a journey. And at every point during this journey, you must believe with full confidence that you are okay, that you are complete exactly as you are.

Picture the mighty, 350 foot tall redwood tree. Many of these trees have been around for more than 2000 years. As magnificent as they are, the redwood started as just a little seedling.

But even as a tiny seedling and at every point along its journey, it has always been that same redwood.

You are that redwood at some point on your journey. While you may or may not be towering over everyone right now, you still have the potential within you to reach that 350 feet.

Imagine where you were ten years ago. How much have you changed since then? How much have you grown? How much have you accomplished?

It is only natural that we grow.

As human beings, that is the natural state of things. Even if we have not achieved our full potential at any given time, we have it within ourselves to do so.

And when we do, we are still the same person we always have been, just at a different point in that journey.

Any celebrity you idolize was not always the successful person you look at them as.

For me, it is Anthony Green (singer of the band Circa Survive). He has the most beautiful voice of anyone I have ever heard, and is incredibly gifted at writing songs.

But even Anthony Green was not always the successful and talented musician I look at him as now. But at every point of his life, he has always been the same Anthony Green.

My point in all of this is that despite any perceived limitations you may have now, it’s not as if fixing them will suddenly make you ok. You are ok right now, and you will be ok the entire time before you achieve whatever goals you may have in life.

Maybe you think, “Once I drop 10 pounds I’ll be happy”.

When you do accomplish your goal and lose the weight, you will still find happiness elusive.

Most likely, it will be even worse, because now you appear to have no idea how to become happy and comfortable in your own skin.

That’s why you should be comfortable right now. There is no need to wait for some sort of success to be happy and content with what you have.

Why wait? Simply accept yourself, exactly as you are right now.

It must be right now, since there is never a time that isn’t now.

Whatever flaws you may have are what makes you human. You will always be growing and improving.

And at every point along the way, you are still ok.

You are that massive redwood tree, even while you are still growing.

Continue to Day 13: Enjoying Simple Pleasures.

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Comments

  1. Very useful

Trackbacks

  1. […] much better piece of advice would be to accept yourself. Wherever you are on this rollercoaster ride we call life is totally fine. Think about it. Even […]

  2. […] He does not fight against his situation, because he knows that acceptance will provide a better end result. […]

  3. […] of these don’t necessarily apply to this model. For example, the admonition that we should “accept ourselves” does not require these two aspects of a dualist self to have differing abilities. And […]

  4. […] Accept yourself. But if you are unsatisfied with your life, you can use the starting from zero technique to help you begin changing it for the better. Similarly, use the fear-setting technique to help you overcome the fears you may have related to pursuing your dream life. Then get to work on achieving your goals, but recognize that you’ll never be able to do it all. And when you find yourself slipping, learn how to get back on-course. […]

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